Hello. My name is Bianca, and I am a total and complete control freak.
Hello, Bianca.
I attempt to plan out everything in my life because that’s the only way I can relax (which is a totally pathetic oxymoron, in case you didn’t catch that), whilst completely undermining the impossible-to-predict twist and turns life has a tendency to make. I worry over little things- when to take the SAT, when to take the TOEFL, what the hell is my SEE going to be about, am I even going to get into college?- because it occupies my time and allows me to feel like I’m in control, even though I’m not. It stresses me out- it gives me back pains caused by stressed and makes me lose sleep; the anxiety that I feel about what tomorrow will bring and about what the future will hold follows me to bed at night and makes me toss and turn until I read a Shel Silverstein poem and attempt to forget about the world for a little while.
Benjamin Disraeli once said, “Nothing in life is more remarkable than the unnecessary anxiety which we endure, and generally create ourselves.” Smart guy, and totally, completely, and incredibly right.
